Are We in Love with The Unattainable?

Sometime Last Year, I got this SMS from my friend who lives across continents, "Why do I do this to myself. I only fall the guys who don’t value me enough. Am I in love with the Unattainable..."

I read that SMS over and over again. (I still have it saved)

I wanted to tell her,its not just you sweetie. We are all in love with unattainable.

Is it the forbidden fruit syndrome? Or are we all subtle rebels at heart? Why don’t we fall for that ‘nice guy next door’ and choose that rock star who, we know will trample our heart. (Same rule applies to guys too btw...)

Its not only in relationships. As human beings, we always want something that we somehow know, is not easy to get. Its that hot car, that brilliant flat, that mouthwatering job. If you have good job content, you want more salary. If you have great salary, you want more satisfaction. If you have both, you want more time. WE WANT WHAT WE DONT HAVE!! (and what is almost unattainable to get)

Everywhere I go, almost everyone I know is on their own trip to get the unattainable. You are in love with him, who is fond is someone else and ‘someone else’ is running after someone totally different altogether.

Why? Why is that the perfect Dopamine high of initial love reduces to “I want you but you aren’t the same anymore’ syndrome? Either you don’t win that race, or you are not happy with the prize when you win it. On either end of the spectrum, you want something that is difficult and distant.

Is it because we love the drama? Or is it simply because we crave for new challenges, in life and in love. Or is love another means to adding more excitement into your drab emotional timelines of life? Most of you reading this must have been in love with someone who didn’t love you back the same way at some point of time. (And you haven’t been that state; let me salute your luck)

You remember the crazy sleepless nights? The hoping against hope, he or she will love u back? How you wanted to turn around the world…and make this one, just one wish come true: ‘Of that someone loving you back with same craziness (and perhaps more)’

And very often you get what you want but, by then you want something more( worst, you want someone else by then).

Something, which overpowers your imagination a bit more. Something that’s more unattainable.

Are we really in love with the unattainable? Or do we only get love when we become unattainable for someone?

On that note my friends, I leave this blogpost incomplete and this question unanswered.

Shoe Girl loves the drama of love and life and is addicted to it. There is only one way to be loved, and that is someone being totally crazy bout u! Rest is all too mediocre.

Confessions Of a Shoe Girl

Everyone who has an overdose of reading postcard after postcard of Post Secret project knows this uncontrollable urge to pen down their secrets. Whereas My Secrets are subject to a totally different post, here are a few of my Shoe Secrets. (Anyone know knows me knows how my world goes in dizzying spin at the topic of shoes)

• Whenever I have to go out to dress up, I choose my shoes first and then the dress follows.
• I can count the number of times I must have walked into a shoe shop and not but bought any shoes.( I almost always end up buying shoes)
• Such times ( when I dont find shoes) usually end up with me having a weird headache.
• My actual count of shoes is 157 now( I tell everyone its close to 100).
• Sometimes I buy shoes and when I bring them home, I quietly sneak them into the shoe rack. This is Just to avoid the ‘look from HIM’ and him saying “Again!!! More shoes baby?”
• When I look at a beautiful pair of shoes I feel they are talking to me.
• The shoes usually tell me, “Come take us home, we complete your life. We will make you so happy”
• My first pair of shoes that I fell in love with was not actually a high heel but a pair of plain Nike trainers.
• Every time I go looking for comfortable shoes, I still end up buying a 3 inch heels. I like to feel elevated from the ground.
• There are times, the heels are so high to walk in and I somehow still end up dancing in them all night. I know I won’t get this young again so I might as well use/abuse my knees while they last.
• I feel I can walk into a meeting in those 4 inch heels , look at men in their eye and achieve anything.Its as much as bout me as bout those heels.
• I started buying more shoes after my first ‘big’ heartbreak. I realized that shoes are better than men for my happiness quotient.
• Every time I look at those pretty pair of High Heels, My heartbeat fastens, my heart does trampoline till the pit of my stomach and I know “ This is Love, This is love”
• I have this quirk of keeping shoes as ‘pieces of art’ in that shoe cabinet.
• Yes, I have bought shoes a size bigger or a size smaller coz they were the only pair left and so pretty. Leaving them would have been such a sin.
• Yes, I have shoes that are so pretty that I almost feel guilty wearing them.
• Yes, I have pair of shoes I have never worn coz Im still trying to find a dress to match with them.
• And I have slept in my shoes just coz they are soooo pretty! ( and this is not insanity! its Love)

Oh Yes! If as a woman You haven't made out in high heels.... you are missing something * ahem ahem*

She Walks In Beauty

SHE walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that 's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light	5
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;	10
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.
And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,	15
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent! -Lord Byron Took this photograph at a recent wedding that I attended. Couldnt think of a better poem to descrive the bride...

Stop, Smile and then Go!

I like walking across to this coffee shop close to my office some half a dozen times a day. It’s not just about coffee but the ‘break’ I get while walking. Sitting stiff in front of the computer screen can become mannequin-ish at times.

And my favorite part is that 2 minute chat with the guy behind the counter. After my fourth or fifth cup of coffee, he will just say, “One more? Long day at work ma’m?” And I would smile and nod. Enough to recharge me till my next cup of coffee.

How many of us really smile at strangers these days? I often see dozen of people getting into or out of the flight without acknowledging the greeting of the cabin crew. Smiling must be their job but not returning a smile is such a rude ‘no no’ in my books!

Whenever I tell people, I miss Bombay; they never get how I can miss a congested city with perennial traffic snarls and the mad rush. But if there is one thing we all acknowledge about Bombay, it’s that people smile back at you when you smile. No matter how much hurry you are in.

I like chatting with people. Smiling at strangers. Listening to their stories. I would like to know how many kids that Autowallah has and if they go to school. I like listening to the Meru Cab guy telling me how he would visit his village in UP during sowing season to overlook the crop. Nameless people but million stories. How can you go though life without stopping to say Hi to them? Without smiling at them?

I have often seen people screaming at waiters, people at ticket counters, being rude and worst still, walking with a frown. There is nothing more turn off on a date than an ill mannered companion who doesn’t treat the restaurant staff well.

Recently, I went to a café with a few friends. The woman friend ( I ‘d met for the first time) inquired about waiters name and instantly chatted up with him with a smile. Not only we were treated like royalty throughout the evening but I also got instant liking for that lady with a simple gesture she did during dinnerJ

So smile. Nothing makes that guy behind the counter’s day better than a genuine smile.

Guess What!!! Jim is Back

Sometime last year, I had started witing my second blog called " In His Shoes"

I recall in my introductory post, calling Jim , my creation( and my Vodoo Doll).

Well! there is madness that makes you create characters, and so Jim was created out of my madness. Somewhere down the line, I purposely stopped writing bout him. I wasnt sure, if I will be able to walk in his shoes without tripping.

And then one fine day, the character screamed out of my skin and I had to take out my story outline and start where I left Jim...

This time, I promised Jim that we'll complete his story...

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Jim is ‘every’ guy. He is near perfect and thoroughly flawed. He is my alter ego as well as is my opponent. He is everything I loathe about men and yet everything I ever wanted in a perfect man. I love him and I hate him to bits at the same time. Everything I know about men and everything I don’t know is all here.

Jim is one of those stories you send to the recycle bin and yet not delete it permanently.

Read More about Jim here